Surrounded by your Glory, what will my heart feel?

I will go into the wilderness and I will meet you there.

2011-04-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

I set off on this journey. This journey to escape. This journey to put aside distractions, to be still and quiet before God. To allow Him to speak to me; something so often I yearn for, but can't hear because of the distractions of this world.

In the morning I awoke, excited, my heart smiling, delighted to meet with God today, to give Him the time He so deserves from me.

Every spin of the wheel taking me further away from the city. I have directions scribbled on a small piece of torn paper. Directions to a place I’ve never been before. A hermitage on a farm in a cabin nestled peacefully in the trees.

I take a wrong turn. Not so unusual for me, but what I would have missed out on if I hadn’t. Miles of countryside. What things looked like back in the old days, just land. Wildlife. Fields revealing their beauty again after a long cold winter. Trees swaying in the wind. Natural, authentic, beautiful colors. A muskrat scurries across the road. I have to look twice, I smile with appreciation for the reminder of the diverseness of God's creation.

I get back on the right path with my crumpled map beside me. I steadily break as a deer prances across the path, I see a bald eagle swoop down from the sky to snatch something up off the ground, and alas, I come to the long gravel driveway. My destination. I turn and enter. Eyes wide open and roaming about like a tourist in a foreign land. A sign telling me I’m in the right place. More proof that spring has arrived; soggy mud under my tires from snow that is no more. I pull up to the farm house. I imagine the life stories that have taken place here.

Not sure if I can go in, I walk to another building I have just seen someone enter. It’s a room taken over by plants, creaky rocking chairs & books, a sauna, hot tub, and massage room. Mmmm. I like this. I am greeted by one of the nuns who runs the farm. Friendly. Warm handshake. Smiles. Welcoming. I am directed back to the farmhouse where I am greeted by more nuns. They are laboring hard to prepare a meal for their guests. They send me on my way to my own hermitage just down the hill. I am invited back for a meal that will take place precisely at noon. I settle. Get my bearings. Learn my surroundings and walk back.

We use the same animal napkin holder at every meal. Tradition. Mine, an elephant with a broken trunk. We sip tea. We learn about oneanother. It’s nice. Meeting new people. Hearing new stories. Seeing the journey God is taking other people on. Wisdom. We share all the different reasons why we’re here. One woman, who lost her son to leukemia is writing a children’s book. A story she once told her son to get him to see that he wasn’t sick because he did something wrong.

The rest of the day I do what I am here for. Spend time with God, sitting in a rocking chair in my cabin looking out into the woods beyond the lake. Occasionally glancing up to witness roosters or a white tailed deer walking past my window. I watch waiting to see what they will do next.

I sleep. I awake early to the cold air around me. The fire in the wood burning stove has subsided. I grab more blankets in the dark. Eventually I fall back asleep.

What a beautiful morning. How marvelous to wake up to the sounds of pure creation. Birds chirping, talking to eachother. Whistling a beautiful tune. So many different types. The sun, shining over the hills waking everyone slowly as light begins to pour through the curtains into the bedroom.

I dawn my spring jacket, a scarf, and a pair of winter gloves. I take my camera with so I can capture this moment. I step outside. Breath deeply. The quietness of the rest of the world. It’s still. No chaos. No worries. No rushing.

As I walk along the trails, the frost crunches beneath my feet. The sun just rising over the hills blinds me, but in a good way. I see neighbor farms in the distance. I see farmers getting a start to their early morning. Coffee mug in hand they walk to the barn in their work jeans and flannel ready for a days work.

The blind dog in the yard hears me and barks. And barks. I softly say “hey dog,” as I don’t know his name and he quiets. I take a walk down the hill to the barn. I peak in after opening the top barn door. Nothing too scary. I open the bottom door and step inside. A goat comes jumping out of darkness onto the fence. Startled, but funny. The hens are flying all around the room squawking & losing feathers right and left. The peacock sits quiet in the corner. I take a breath in and it reminds me of my own Grandpas farm. Comfort. I smile and step back out and lock the door.

I see gardens laid out with ropes around them, I see fruit trees, compost. Signs of a self sufficient farm. I see woods filled with trees.

I come back to my cabin, but have not yet had enough. Taking in of the blessings of the day. I start a fire in the wood burning stove and open the window to still enjoy the freshness of the air. A mix of a cool breeze and a gentle warmness on my skin from the stove. The smell of campfire, the sound of wood crackling...an occasional pop. Another blessing.

I spend my day in the word. Asking God to speak to me. I soul search, I make lists. I read an encouraging book, I pray deeply for the people I love and for people I don't know.

I take a break to experience a gift God has given Paula one of the nuns. Once a nurse herself, now blesses others by her hands, providing Trager massage. Soft piano playing in the background. She whispers prayers over each part of my body as she eases tension built up slowly from the stresses of this world. Gradually muscles are eased, the word stress now foreign to them.

After peeling myself from the massage table I now must pack my things and head back to my life. This time, however with a sense of peace. A deeper closeness with my creator. Clarity. A desire to have more of this in my life. To hear God in every moment, not just moments like these. To rid of all the things of this world that are hindering me from experiencing the wholeness of God.

I encourage you today to find out how you can experience the wholeness of God. What in your life can you get rid of or pursue more of so that you can hear from God. I encourage you not only to listen to God, but to be faithful in what he is asking you to do.

Phone books

2010-05-23T10:46:00.001-07:00

Ever sick of coming home to yet another stack of phone books on your front step?

Not only do most people not need them in this day in age with computers, but they take up space and are a HUGE waste of paper. I swear we've gotten 9 different ones delivered to our house in the past year.

Visit www.yellowpagesgoesgreen.org to take yourself off the delivery list.

Post Surgery Update.

2010-05-21T09:17:00.000-07:00

I had my one and only surgeon followup appointment today. (Knock on wood) And....

Praise the Lord everything looks good. The X-Ray showed that the lung is healing well and not re-collapsed. Whoo....what a relief. I was just kind of waiting for that final "you're ok" before resuming all activities and hopefully I can stop stressing about it now.

According to the surgeon "I'm fired" because I'm doing so well.

Nice.

Food Inc.

2010-05-02T15:53:00.000-07:00

Definitely recommend the documentary "Food Inc." It's a good heads up as to what we unfortunately are consuming on a daily basis.

Here are a few things I learned from the film:

-Tomatoes are picked green half way across the world, and then ripened with ethylene gas to speed up the ripening process in order to sell them in stores.

- Chickens are now made to grow faster and with bigger breasts using steroids in order to mass produce cheaper. Chicken's bones were not created to withstand that much weight and therefore cause the chickens to only be able to walk 1 or 2 steps before tumbling to the ground. The farmers wouldn't even allow the reporter access to see inside the chicken farm as the conditions were that bad. One farmer, though she lost her job because of it allowed them in. She is actually now allergic to most antibiotics due to the exposure she's had on her farm.

-The farmers seen in this film are basically slaves to the major meat companies and have no say in how they raise their animals. The farmer still only earns approx. $18,000 per year.

-What used to produce 20 bushels of corn now can produce 200 bushels of corn with the use of pesticides and fertilizers only to be washed away into our drinking water and consumed by animals and humans.

-90% of our food contains some form of corn or soybeans. Mostly in the form of high fructose corn syrup. We feed animals who are made to consume grass this corn as well. We feed them this because it's cheap and makes them fat.

-The average meal travels 1500 miles to reach us.

Some advise:

-Buy from companies that treat their animals, workers, and the environment fairly.

-Read your labels

-Buy locally and in season

-The money you spend on healthier food will pay off someday

May Day...

2010-05-02T14:39:00.000-07:00

Happy belated May Day everyone!!

What a beautiful Sunday afternoon! My roommate and I enjoyed a stroll to church this morning and then to the annual May Day Parade in South Minneapolis.

Every year the In the Heart of the Beast theatre puts on the May Day Parade unlike any you've ever seen. They use flour, water, newspaper, lots of paint and imagination to tell stories that explore the struggles and celebrations of human existence. The parade attracts more than 35,000 people every year, namely the more artsy, eclectic ones. Very cool to see so many people on the streets of Minneapolis enjoying the outdoors today.

This year's theme was Uproar!

Scene 1: Growl

People struggle to remain standing leashed under heavy burdens of poverty, war, debt & loneliness. They trudge forward groaning and growling racked by disease, grief, and rage, these tigers lash out at eachother and could rip us to shreds as well.

Scene 2: Breathe

The Whale and Tai Chi Tigers move with conscious breath. People breathe and come breath and dance. Beyond the grasses, and Elephant trumpets, awakening us to our collective together. Arks carry seedlings to grow into plants, the lungs of the earth. Grasses catch the power. Elephant bones burst with new and fertile life. Flowers!

Scene 3: Return

Return to wisdom and our ancestors. Owls recognize and access the treasures of ancestral wisdom, Life and death dance together, embrace each other with joy. Skeletons shine with fire and light and guide through the darkness. Ofrendas offer space for remembering. Tiger skeletons grieve. The four seasons surround a skeleton pregnant with life.

Scene 4: Roar

Rooster chariots call us to roar! Roar with exuberance in the raw beauty of the world! Tigers fly contain the roar of the unfolding universe. When people protect the tiny snail, they protect the Super Roaring Tigers arrive with good deeds to protect this world of infinite wonder! Snails universe. The clouds merge and become a tiger. The tiger sun roars with exuberant energy.

Following the themed part of the parade, there were a few additions....

Deep Breaths...

2010-04-26T20:32:00.000-07:00

Big thank you to everyone for the cards, visits, gifts, food, e-mails, texts, phone calls, and encouraging words, thoughts, & prayers this week!! It's amazing how much easier it is to get through something when you are supported, so thank you!!

So it's been a week already!! Can't believe it.

My experience was as such.....

The few days before surgery I could tell my lung had collapsed further as it was becoming more painful, harder to breathe, as well as pressing on my airway...not so fun, so it was a blessing the surgery happened when it did.

I was mentally prepped by my amazing roommies the night prior by a seranade of guitar and singing, my mom also came in late that night to be here through it all. I mostly felt it hard to believe it was finally time, and that it was actually happening.

Tuesday morning, after a lovely shower with surgical scrub, we made our way to the hospital, checked in, & waited maybe 5 minutes before they called me to my pre-op room. Here they checked vitals, asked pre-admission questions, took some labs, started IV's, took a pregnancy test (required of all females, no ideas please:) I was then visited by person after person explaining what their part in the surgery was going to be. The anesthesiologist, their resident, their student, the nurse, some guy who was asking permission that if any tissue samples were taken during surgery they could use them for research, as well as the surgeon; who the more I talked to him had complete confidence in him. Very personable and caring....

The last thing I remembered of course was them telling me they were going to put something in my IV to help me relax. Pretty sure I was out in 3 seconds before I could even say goodbye to anyone.

Who knows what happened the next couple hours...

I remember waking up wondering when they were going to finally get started, but quickly realized it was over and was glad I didn't have to be conscious during any of it. Shortly after the recovery room I was wheeled to my own private room...major answer to prayer as almost every room on that unit was a double room. I had a great view of the University of Minnesota Campus and even got to experience a thunderstorm one morning through the very large windows.

The first evening was great in some ways because I had expected it to be sooo much worse based on what I had been reading about it so I was very pleased with the amount of pain I was in. The worst part was probably attempting to get up to the bathroom as whenever I would get up I felt like I was going to pass out and had a huge chest tube with suction coming out one side and two IV's on the other. Maneuvering all those machines and tubings while feeling lightheaded and weak make for some interesting experiences.

The rest of the time went well for the most part. Only other thing that wasn't so great was when they changed my pain medication, the next day I was completely out of it, had incredible nausea and the worst headache i've ever had in my life. Taking the chest tube out was one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me. It was SUCH a pain dragging that thing with me everywhere while working with the therapists in the hallway, and most of the pain went away as soon as they took it out. Thanks to my dad for braving it through watching the Dr. pull out the chest tube.

I discharged home Saturday morning, and for the most part of been doing great. I haven't taken any pain meds since they took the chest tube out. Granted I could at times, but I hate pills. Worst part since being home has been sleeping. Finding a position that's comfortable is a problem even with 5 pillows. I've been out and about with my mom, but am limited to lifting anything more than 10 lbs for awhile and get fatigued a little easier than normal as my body is in healing mode. The plan Lord willing, is to return to work next Tuesday on "lite-duty," meaning no lifting patients for a couple more weeks. I'll get to experience more of the office duties at work, and then hopefully I'll never have to experience a collapsed lung again:)

On the other side of things, it was definitely weird being the patient instead of the nurse. I definitely learned some tips as to what can really be calming to a patient and what can make them really uncomfortable. Pretty sure I made some people nervous asking so many questions, watching their every move, and had a lovely experience with a student nurse one day. I definitely recommend if you ever have to be in the hospital to bring someone to stay with you who knows a thing or two about healthcare. I had it really good since my mom who's an Emergency Room nurse was there for most of it and basically did everything anyways. I really have no complaints about the staff, they were all wonderful as well as the thoracic surgery team who paid visits twice a day.

So, now that I'm home I'm starting to process things.... I know God had a plan in all this and I'd like to make sure I take the time to listen to what He has to teach me. I heard a quote the other day from a father about his young daughter. That she could fall down and hurt herself even when he's walking right beside her. That doesn't mean he allowed it to happen, she knows that with her father's unconditional love, he'll pick her up and carry her, he'll try to heal her, he'll cry when she cries, and rejoice when she is well. In all the moments of my life, God has been right there beside me. The truth about God's love is not that he allows hard things to happen, but that He promises to be with us when they do.

Very comforting words to hear in times as such!

Here are some pics of the whole experience....don't look if you get sick looking at that kind of stuff:)

The two incisions...

The chest tube...

Good Book..

2010-04-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

This week I read the book "Under the Overpass," by Mike Yankoski. Mike & His friend Sam, normal middle class people decided to put a hold on their lives & set out on the streets as one of the homeless to truly experience what it would be like to have nothing. To really feel what it's like to give up everything and follow the Lord, and to see what it really means to trust in him for every last penny. GREAT book for anyone interested in inner city justice issues or who are simply curious what it's like to be homeless, what the conditions are like, and how you are treated by everyday people and worse yet how most Christians overlook how God tells us to serve the poor. Definitely changed how I see homeless people through my eyes.

My favorite quote from the book..

"We hear a Christian assure someone that he will "pray over" his problem, knowing full well that he intends to use prayer as a substitute for service. It is much easier to pray that a poor friend's needs may be supplied than to supply them." A.W. Tozer

Surgery date...

2010-04-02T08:07:00.001-07:00

April 20th is the date! Now that it's scheduled I just want it to happen so that I can start healing and get on with my life.

I had dinner with a wise woman the other night who was talking to a friend and I about "singleness" and allowing God to use that time for His good. She didn't get married until later in life, and was telling us that we have that expectation that when you get married you think that that desire or longing we had for companionship and love will be fulfilled, that we wouldn't feel that "lonely" feeling that some people can get when they don't have a significant other. She said that that really doesn't go away once you get married, and you will always have that longing for something greater, something more.

Though I'm not married, I could really make that pertain to my life now. I have definitely recognized this with all that's happened in the last couple weeks. When a bend in the road occurs in my life, I tend to cling to friends and family to help give strength and to get peace from any anxieties. While those anxieties are lessened for a very brief time, those fears ultimately are still buried deep inside. People can try to convince you that you'll be ok, that you're not worried which is great and somewhat helpful, but in the end I never fully feel fulfilled or satisfied. This something greater is something only God can fulfill. He's the only one who fully knows me down to the number of hairs on my head, He's the only one who can know exactly how I feel, and exactly what I fear. He's the only one who can really take away those fears. I have felt more of a desperation for Him through this, and I have that to be thankful for. My heart is filled by Him, and I find peace in that.

“Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:28-31 NKJV)

Quick Update..

2010-03-31T11:19:00.000-07:00

I had a CT this morning to make sure there wasn't something else causing my lung to collapse, and praise the Lord there wasn't. They did say it's still slightly collapsed, but less than 10%. The surgeon was nice, seemed to know what he was talking about, & took time to answer questions which is a blessing after experience with other doctors that I wasn't quite impressed with. I've talked to a few more doctors at work who know him and say I'll be in good hands...very encouraging. So..they said they'll let me know in the next couple days when surgery will be..they're thinking in 2-3 weeks. I'd be in the hospital 2-5 days, assuming there are no complications & that I should be completely healed and back to my old self within a month. Anyways, thanks for all your encouraging words, and prayers...I'll let you know when the date will be!

Jacobs Well..

2010-03-28T19:23:00.000-07:00

Today I tried out a new church called Jacob’s Well. Obviously I can’t tell from one service whether I will call that my new church home, but it was interesting because I felt as though the pastor was speaking right to me and it was what I needed to hear today. He talked about when you’ve hit a wall and how to get through that.

The past couple months I’ve been struggling with wondering why on earth God chose me. What do I have to offer to Him who is perfect and mighty? I do not deserve His love at all after continuously ignoring Him, and continuously not striving to seek Him. A few weeks ago I hit that wall of feeling stuck and not being able to get past where my life has been spiritually and crossing that bridge to the other side of what I want and know it should be. In the sermon, the pastor talked about when we hit a wall, we need to go through it. In Matthew 16 it says,

From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must…be killed, and on the third day be raised. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting you mind not on divine thigs but on human things.”

Satan is causing me to be so focused on earthly things that I just can’t see past it. Getting past the wall isn’t about doing more or finding more solutions, it’s about becoming new with God. Problems can not be solved by the same level of awareness that created them. At the wall, God abandons you. You will be supported, but it is you that needs to make the step. At the wall, God waits for you on the other side. On the other side of the wall is hope and life.

Jesus says “For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.” Mathhew 16:25

Do you see what this means-all the pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running-and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed-that exhilarating finish in and with God-he could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.

We then walked through a labyrinth. The entrance being a place to stop and reflect on your intentions for the spiritual walk you are about to take. The walk around the design symbolizing the letting go of your old life, as you approach the center I felt as though I was walking as a bride toward God in the center, my humble creator and Father, approaching Him for help & guidance. Walking out takes us back to our lives, empowered to be more of who God has created us to be.

At the end of the service the band was all giddy about something under their sleeves...suddenly they started singing “Hold my Hand” by Hootie and the Blowfish. Funny how some songs if you picture it in a different way it can totally pertain to God.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoW3bqnr7tw

Life...

2010-03-27T14:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me, you know that my life does not revolve around drama. Drama, however, is what my life seems to be the last month or so. I'll start with storyline #1.

Basically since I started my current job, I have been thinking about what my next job will entail. However, I allowed myself to keep with it, mainly because of the fact that I love my co-workers, I could never ask for better ones, and I can definitely say I have learned a lot. I finally got to a point this year where I told myself I wasn't going to do this anymore, wanted to stop doing things that I didn't understand why I was doing them, and that I was going to stop convincing myself otherwise. I felt a tug towards working with children, as I feel that is an area I am passionate about and would enjoy doing day to day. I also wanted to get out of the hospital system, mainly due to all the politics...makes me stressed just thinking about that place.

So anyways, I e-mailed a woman in charge of hiring school nurses within the Minneapolis Public School system, and asked her basically since they seem to only hire nurses with experience in the school system, how I could get myself in the door. I was thankful for her e-mail as she was very helpful in the process of getting all these different licenses, and also recommended that I work with children in some other form of healthcare such as a camp nurse.

Camp nursing has always been something that I had an interest in doing someday, so I thought I'd go for it. I applied at one and only one camp...a sweet camp in Pagosa Springs Colorado by the name of Sonlight Christian Camp. I enjoyed my interview, loved what I heard about the camp, and as soon as I hung up the phone with the Camp Director became really excited to get away from my everyday life and enjoy a summer in the beautiful mountains surrounded by fun little children needing a little TLC, and joined by an encouraging staff who would allow me to grow in my faith in God.

Well, shortly after this interview came a little bend in the road. A good friend from high school called and asked if I wanted to backpack Europe with her and her sister this summer. Instantly I was conflicted. Who ever has two sweet options right before them? After many conversations, and loss of sleep, i ended up choosing Europe thinking that another opportunity to go to Europe with great easy-going people, who are experienced travelers, wanting to go to the same countries as I, wouldn't come around again for quite some time. I then started looking for some shorter summer camps to work at post trip to Europe, or the possibility of volunteering for a couple weeks at a camp in order to still get somewhat of a camp nursing experience that I know I still want...

Again, there comes another bend in the road...

Some of you may know that back in October after an exhilarating weekend of trick-or-treating with the kiddos, my family and I were relaxing getting ready to watch an exciting Vikings game, and I ended up ruining the party by having to make a trip to the ER. Luckily, my mom got to be my nurse:) I had chest pain, resembling a heart attack...I know, sounds crazy, I'm only 25 right? Well, after lots of heart tests, turns out it was my lungs rather, and after getting over the flu a couple weeks prior, I had developed pleurisy (fluid around the lungs) which can cause symptoms that resemble a heart attack. So, I rested up, thought I was healed, came home, went on a blind date rock climbing (this is whole nother story), and had it happen again when were leaving the place, only this time I didn't freak out because I knew what it was, so I rested again, thought I was healed, played on my soccer league a couple weeks later and had it happen again...GASP!!. Well, I rested again thinking it just needed more time and luckily it didn't come back...kinda forgot about it actually.

Until....I was painting our living room this week and again.....it happened. Grrrr....The next day at the Dr, had an X-Ray, which showed a pneumothorax (collapsed lung). No one looking at me would have guessed it, I wasn't short of breath or anything, but I definitely felt the pain when it happened!!! So, my Dr referred me to a lung specialist...wasn't impressed (yet another story), who after asking me maybe 5 questions after talking with the resident fellow told me I had to have surgery to repair the weakened lining of the lung, especially if I ever planned on flying or deep sea scuba diving anytime in my life. Wasn't expecting that one, especially after my Dr. told me I'd probably just have to do a breathing treatment. I didn't even have questions prepared for that kind of recommendation, not that he would have answered them anyway, as he was hurrying me out the door. But, believe me I have a list of questions for the surgeon next Wednesday, and have been busy asking Dr's I work with their opinions.

So...not quite sure what God is trying to tell me here, but I sure am confused. When I had two great options for the summer, now I'm not quite sure I have any. Not sure how good of an idea it is to fly to another country shortly after surgery.

Right now, all I can say is thank God for health insurance & support from family and friends!!

All I'm asking for right now is for prayers for peace for my weary heart. My life is one big bundle of questions right now that I don't have figured out. Pray that I would invest in my quiet time with God and rely on Him fully rather than depending on others or distracting myself from what is important. That I would not allow myself to become anxious with all these decisions, and that through this I would become closer to Him and more fully be able to fulfill the plans he has for me here on this earth.

I have been catching myself becoming anxious about choosing the right surgeon, or the possibility of complications, or that it wouldn't work, etc, but I appreciated the words of my roommate praying over me the other day when she said that the surgeon will not have the power during the surgery, but only the hands of God will be working within me to suture me up, to heal me, and that nothing that they do will be different than what God has in mind for me.

I shall keep you updated on any future happenings!!

Fun Christmas Present..

2010-03-19T07:49:00.000-07:00

For Christmas this year I received a fun new gadget...a juicer. So far it hasn't been one of those things that you use a ton in the first couple weeks and then set aside and forget about. I use it multiple times a week and has made consuming the insane amount of fruits and veggies required in a day more do-able and fun.

The Juicer

My new favorite flavor of juice...pineapple, melon, & mint leaves.

The final product

Reasons why I LOVE juicing....

Juicing helps you absorb all the nutrients from the fruit & vegetables. This is important because most of us have impaired digestion as a result of making less-than-optimal food choices over many years. This limits your body's ability to absorb all the nutrients from the fruit & vegetables. Juicing will help to "pre-digest" them for you, so you will receive most of the nutrition, rather than having it go down the toilet.

Juicing allows you to consume an optimal amount of vegetables in an efficient manner. The National Cancer Institute believes that the rise in cancer these days has a lot to do with the lack of fruits and vegetables we are consuming. They recommend we get 5 servings of fruit and 3 servings of vegetables per day in order to get the effects from the vitamins, enzymes and phytochemicals found in them. Most people may find eating that many fruits & vegetables in a day pretty difficult, but it can be easily accomplished with a quick glass of fruit/veggie juice.

You can add a wider variety of vegetables in your diet. Many people eat the same vegetable salads every day. This violates the principle of regular food rotation and increases your chance of developing an allergy to a certain food. But with juicing, you can juice a wide variety of vegetables that you may not normally enjoy eating whole. (watercress, kale, wheat grass, bok choy, collard greens)

Juicing your own fruit/vegetables is obviously the healthier option rather than buying ready made juices at the supermarket. Commercial juice is pasteurized, meaning it has been heated taking away from it's vital enzymes. They also contain artificial chemical sweeteners, or artificial colors which have proven to cause cancer in some animals.

I'm hoping to do a "juice fast" one of these days. I'll let you know how it goes!

Urban Homeworks

2010-01-26T11:28:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to post some updates on the new (since July) living situation....

There is an organization in the Twin Cities called Urban Homeworks....(see urbanhomeworks.com for more information), but they through funding are able to take over condemned duplexes in the inner city, fix them up to be a liveable space to live, rent out 1/2 to a low income family and the other half to young adults who are interested in learning more about the inner city life & what that means as a Christian. It forces us to live in an intentional community as a house. In no way are we thinking that by living there we will someway better our neighbors, but more to learn ourselves about living in solidarity with others, outside of our comfort zone. Once a month we have a meeting with all the other urban homeworks houses and have speakers come and talk to us about different issues in the inner city such as poverty, prostitution, homelessness, etc which have all been very enlightening. We are also required to do so many hours of community service per month. This allows us to see the real life issues going on by experiencing them with individuals rather than just hearing about them.

I joined Urban Homeworks this July. I was placed with 4 other girls which I prayed about a lot....who couldn't have been more perfect roommates. Everyone has different backgrounds in life, and has their own unique purpose in our house. I have learned SO much from them, and have very much enjoyed living in a house that cares about eachother through encouragement, having deep conversations about life, sharing experiences, and being intentional about spending quality time with oneanother. Often times when I tell people I live with 4 other girls, they think I'm crazy and are just sure that it's a miserable situation, but it's truly been a great, great year so far. I feel as though I have grown in many ways this year through this experience.

Here are some pictures of our lovely house...

Our house from across the street...our neighborhood is often defined as the "ghetto" although I would disagree after living there for awhile...

Living Room...

Dining Room...

Kitchen...

My Bedroom...

Extra room upstairs often used for relaxing guitar/violin playing or book reading....

And...last but not least....our amazing fake flowers:) Love em!!

Homemade Granola Bars

2009-11-24T11:04:00.000-08:00

Here is a recipe that I made off off the internet that tastes amazing....super healthy & easy to make! BONUS! Thought I'd share it with you...

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

Gather your ingredients:

2 cups oats

3/4 cup wheat germ

3/4 cup sunflower seeds (instead of sunflower seeds I chop almonds instead...way better)

1 cup peanuts, crushed

2/3 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup honey

4 Tbsp butter

2 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 tsp Kosher salt

approximately 8 oz. dried fruit (for those who want to be even more healthy, but I usually add chocolate chips instead)

Then, mix the peanuts, oats, wheat germ, and sunflower seeds or almonds in a baking dish with sides. Toast them in the oven for 10-12 minutes, stirring every few minutes so that they don’t get burned.

Meanwhile, prepare a glass baking dish (about 11 x 13 inches) for your granola by lining it with waxed paper lightly sprayed with a nonstick spray. (I've also used aluminum foil)

Put the brown sugar, honey, butter, vanilla, and salt into a saucepan and bring to a simmer, stirring constantly.) By now, your grains and nuts should be toasted, so mix everything together in a large bowl. The grains, the liquid “glue,” and the dried fruit or chocolate chips. Oh, and turn off your oven, because you’re finished with it now. Mix everything REALLY WELL because you want to make sure the “glue” gets all over everything. Now, dump your granola mixture into your prepared baking dish.

Spread out the mixture with a wooden spoon or spatula.

Now fold over the sides of the waxed paper or add a sheet on top, and PRESS HARD all over the granola. You want to compact it together so that your bars won’t fall apart when you cut them.

Wait 2-3 hours or until the granola has totally cooled.

Living our lives as we know it....

2009-06-17T10:20:00.001-07:00

Throughout this week I have constantly been reminded of how much work there is to be done in this world and how we as Americans live out our every day lives ignoring the fact.

Have you ever wondered why you are here on this earth? or what the purpose of life is? Do you think we were created to be happy, successful people who get everything we ever wanted? When's the last time you heard something in the news that just sounded horrible and instead of saying that's horrible...those poor people, but actually did something about it?

How many times in the last week, me included, have we thought about someone besides ourselves, done something besides our regular routine life, researched what is going on in the world outside of our bubble, or actually stopped to help someone in need?

Here are a few pictures with captions to help explain my point...

The type of houses we live in in America. Built brand new to our expectations because the millions of homes that are sitting empty waiting to be sold aren't good enough, built complete with a bedroom for everyone in the house, a garage for every car we own, an extra bedroom for guests who may happen to come into town a couple times a year. Homes that are full of the latest gadgets, movies, video games, televisions, to keep us happy and prevent us from becoming bored.

The type of Village people in Uganda live in. Their families often share a living space with other families. Their homes are often invaded by spiders, ants, and geckos.

How we in America get to the grocury store that is 2 blocks away.

How people in Africa get to the market that is 10 miles away.

A nice variety of clothing and shoes. We in America make sure we have a matching pair of shoes for every outfit, and a new purse for every season of the year, so we can be up with the newest trends and only have to do laundry a couple times per month. Over half the clothes in this closet haven't ever even been worn.

No shoes here. The people of Africa can't afford them. They often wear the same clothes every day of the week, and have to wash their laundry by hand.

Enough food for everyone to have seconds or thirds and then we end up throwing the leftovers out because they aren't as good the next day. We in America often spend hours working out to burn off the extra calories that we didn't actually need.

People in Africa sometimes go days without eating. They have to wait in line for hours to get a half scoop of beans. They will eat anything they get, they aren't picky. They are desperate enough that they will go look in the dumpsters and eat food that may have been in there for several days.

A few more points...

~Did you know that over 750,ooo people in the United States are living without a home?

Yet we complain that our home is "Just not big enough!"

~Did you know that more than 15 million children die per year from starvation?

Yet we allow our children to pick and choose what types of food they will eat, leave restaurants with half of our food still on the plate, and the same restaurant will throw away a whole meal because it wasn't made to it's customers expectations.

~ Did you know that there are over 132 million orphans in this world today waiting to find someone to love them and care for them who have to fight with hundreds of other children to get attention?

Yet, we insist on having all our own children, and allow the smallest of fights to separate us from ever seeing our parents.

These are just a minute amount of the problems in this world...not mentioning all the women victim to sex trafficking on a daily basis, children victims to abuse in their homes. We act like there's nothing we could possibly do about it, that in order to actually help with something you would have to put tons of money into traveling across the world. These issues are not just limited to third world countries, but are happening in your neighborhood, and in our city. It doesn't require much, even 1 hour per week of your time will help. Not only would you be helping someone else, which is incredible, you will feel more purpose in life which can uplift your day tremendously. Please don't let life pass you by and ignore the world around you. There's so much to be done, and you my friend could make a huge impact!! If anything, please be content with what you have and realize how blessed you are!!

James 5:1-6 says...

¹Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you.²Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. ³Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. ⁴Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. ⁵You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.^[a^] ⁶You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you.

2009-06-05T16:22:00.000-07:00

Amelia Lida Klemme

Isn’t she cute:)

She’s my favorite…..

~I gotta say, I never thought I’d enjoy being an aunt near as much as I do…it’s probably one of the coolest things in the world.

~ I remember the day she was born…March 25….I was working evenings, my shift was almost over, and my brother called me at work and said, "I can’t talk, but just wanted to let you know you’ll be an aunt in like 10 minutes….come if you want!" I had my doubts going to the hospital at midnight, given the neighborhood it was in, and just the fact that those are not exactly hospital visiting hours, but I decided that I wanted to be there. So, I raced home to change and made my way to the hospital. I checked in with security and made my way up to the labor and delivery floor. Things were pretty quiet up there, but I traveled through the hallways until I found the nursery. There, I saw the little miracle. My brother standing over the cutest baby in the world. She wasn’t crying one bit, just roaming her eyes about the room as happy as can be. She held his hand tightly as my brother gazed over her with a proud daddy look. I watched through the glass window in excitement, and later got to hold her just a few hours after coming into this world. Never ever would I trade that night for anything.

~ Since then, I’ve appreciated living in the same city. It’s pretty fun being a part of her life and knowing that she knows, trusts, loves, and has fun with you. Hearing her voice as you walk through the door shouting “Te-Te’s here!!,” hearing & seeing her copy things you do and say, playing our own version of rock band with her horse on a stick as a guitar, taking her to story-time, and drawing fun things on the sidewalk together are just a few of the memories I will never forget.

~It's amazing how something so unplanned is something SO planned in God's book. Hanging out with a 2 year old once a week isn't something I ever planned to do at my age, but it's something I so want to do and has changed me in ways that I would have never imagined!!

~Oh, and another sweet deal is that at the end of the day….you can always give em back...What an amazing life!!

Give Me Your Eyes...

2009-04-24T20:29:00.000-07:00

I truly have the utmost desire to lay down my life for God & do EXACTLY what He has for me to do. I wish to be a servant to Him, and only Him. I wish I had His eyes, His ears, His hands….His heart. Unfortunately, because of my sin, I slip, and forget to really pay attention to what he places in front of me.

This song by Brandon Heath called Give Me Your Eyes inspires me to pray for this….

Looked down from a broken sky

Traced out by the city lights

My world from a mile high

Best Seat in the house tonight

Touched down on the cold black top

Hold on for the sudden stop

Breathe in the familiar shock

Of confusion and chaos

All those people going somewhere, Why have I never cared?

Give me your eyes for just one second

Give me your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken hearted

Ones that are far beyond my reach

Give me your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me your eyes so I can see

Step out on a busy street

See a girl and our eyes meet

Does her best to smile at me

To hide what’s underneath

There’s a man just to her right

Black suit and a bright red tie

Too ashamed to tell his wife

He’s out of work He’s buying time

All those people going somewhere

Why have I never cared?

I’ve been there a million times

A couple of million eyes

Just moving past me I swear

I never thought that I was wrong

Well I want a second glance

So give me a second chance

To see the way you see the people all along

When I hear this song play, I picture myself like Jesus walking down the street being able to see into people's souls. Knowing without them speaking what it is they're going through. I picture being able to hear their unspoken words, and feeling myself all the hurt they have inside.

It hurts me to think..How many times have I just ignored someone who’s been deeply hurt and desperate to talk to someone because I was completely oblivious? How many times did I retaliate because someone “treated me wrong.” When there’s a story that goes along with why they “treated you wrong” in the first place, and they just need someone to respond to them in a loving way, How many times have I been so involved in my work that I failed to talk to a co-worker once throughout the day, How many times have I passed the person on the side of the road begging for money and didn’t even notice them?

One thing that I can say I didn’t always understand, but now FULLY understand is that people are who they are because of their past, what they’ve been through. Someone isn’t just rude to you at the checkout counter because they want to be. People aren’t homeless because they want to be. People aren’t shy because they want to be. We are all humans, we all have a story that brings us to who we are today. Abuse, Neglect, Poverty, Divorce, Racism, Illness, War, Loss of Job, Death, When you find out someone’s story, you will be amazed at how COMPLETELY different you will view them. I hope and pray that I would be able to be still & get to know those stories. I want to wake up from this fog that I've been in most of my life and be purposeful with every interaction that God places before me. I am not guaranteed tomorrow, so why wait until it's too late?

Staff Emergency!!

2009-04-07T12:11:00.001-07:00

At Fairview, the hospital of my employment, we have to carry around pagers. I have a love/hate relationship with them. They're informative and our job would be more difficult without them, but sometimes you just want to throw it against a wall and then stomp on it 50 times until it's unrecognizable OR throw it out the window into the Mississippi never to be found again. Whenever a patient's call light goes off, the HUC (secretary) will usually answer the light at the desk, find out what the patient wants, and then text page the Nurse or Nursing Assistant with what the patient needs. We also get pages for phone calls, when the Dr's are ready for rounds, when a family member or random Dr is at the desk to speak to you, when the trays have arrived, and we even have a page to remind us to turn our pagers in at the end of the day. If the page isn't answered within a certain amount of time, which does happen-if you're in the middle of a sterile dressing change, or just plain busy with a patient...but say you got stuck in one of those rooms, and one of your other pages isn't being answered after a certain amount of time your pager will just vibrate non-stop until it gets answered. That's about the time when I envision myself pulling one of the above tricks on my beeper.

Anyway, the root of all this nonsense, is located in the patients room. They have a call light on their bed that they push to let someone know they need something. When one goes to answer the light, there is a button on the wall to turn the call light off for that room. There also lies another button right next to it that you would push if you came across an emergency situation. In that case, everyone gets a page saying EMERGENCY RM. 510. And you know how when there's a storm and one of those pages will come on over the radio saying "The National Weather Service has now issued a thunderstorm warning for the following counties..." A voice as such comes over the loudspeaker saying "STAFF EMERGENCY......STAFF EMERGENCY....STAFF EMERGENCY...." When I get a page as such, or hear that overhead, my reaction is my heart about drops to my stomach, my eyes become very wide open, and I get tense, and have thoughts racing in my brain. Meanwhile, everyone comes running from multiple directions, nurses are peaking their head out of rooms to see if it's actually an emergency.....This happens at least once a shift....luckily not because there's actually an emergency, but because someone from housekeeping, or a patient or family member decided to push the wrong button. The reaction I get to the above, I've realized has become a learned response. Now, anytime I hear something remotely resembling the word staff, or a voice that sounds similar even when I'm not at work, my heart drops to my stomach, i become tense, and my eyes become wide open. Once I remind myself I'm not actually at work, I can breathe, but not a fun reaction to have when you're supposedly resting in Barnes & Noble reading a good book. So, word to the wise, if you're ever visiting someone in the hospital...stay away from all buttons or you could create unnecessary strain or your poor nurses heart:)

PDA in Church? Whaa??

2009-04-01T17:59:00.000-07:00

So..you know those couples that are walking down the street and they can't keep their hands off eachother?? They either have their arms around eachother's waist, or one hand in the others back pocket...you know what i mean, it's like they're going to get lost if they aren't constantly attached to the other..well anywho, saw one of those the other day....although I didn't see them out in the streets....they were sitting in front of us in church.... I would guess they were maybe Freshman in high school. The guy was constantly whispering in the girls ear, they were like groping eachothers arms, giving hand massages, holding both hands, and they even kissed once or twice....ok, so do whatever on your own time, but please, please don't do this in church...extremely distracting for one, and definitely not appropriate during church let alone anywhere else at that age. What made the situation from annoying to funny however was the fact that there was a "grandma" sitting right next to the guy who kept doing double takes of their hands and by the looks on her eyes I know if she wasn't in church her jaw would have dropped to the floor. She kept looking at the guys face too to try to get him to see her disapproval...but, he apparently didn't notice. Just got me thinking about relationships and the importance of keeping them pure. I'm not being judgmental at all because I know I'm not a perfect example, but just for discussion purposes I'll continue with my thoughts. Do you really know what you want in a guy at that age, let alone really know yourself?? I know when I was that age even though I was a believer, I was more into what I was going to wear to school to make me look attractive, how much hair spray it was going to take to keep my hair perfectly curled, how many guys you could get to say hi to you in passing. I could've cared less whether they were a church-goer, or what their goals in life were or what they were passionate about. Having a niece in this day in age, or the thought of having a kid one day of my own knowing what went on in high school several years ago, and what it could be like when they go through those experiences is one big scary thought..especially with what society is like today..when we were growing up the popular shows were Saved by the Bell, and Full House....very family friendly shows...you don't really see that so much anymore, and all the songs on the radio now are horrendous!!! Check this out...this is just one of the many songs on the "hit" station today that teenagers are being exposed to on a daily basis.

I'll take you home if you don't leave me at the front door.

Your body is cold but girl we're gettin warm

And I was thinking of ways I could get inside.

Tonight you're falling in love, let me go now.

This feeling is tearin me up, here we go now.

Now if she does it like this, will you do it like that?

If she touches you like this, will you touch her like that?

If she moves like this, will you move it like that?

Come on shake, shake, shake-shake-it.

Your lips tremble but your eyes are in a straight stare,

We're on the bed, but your clothes are laying right there,

And i was thinking of places I could hide.

Tonight you're falling in love, let me go now.

This feeling is tearin me up, here we go now.

I saw you dancing and couldn't get you off my mind.

I could tell that you could tell that I was taking my time.

But I was thinking of ways to get you staying the night.

Your body's shaking, so tell me off so i can turn off the lights...

...and it goes on from there....Keep in mind I tried to find one of the least provocative of lyrics to share with you.

And we wonder why the rate of teen pregnancies is sky-rocketing...hmmmm.....

As Christians, and even for non-Christians, I think it is important to be aware of what we are feeding our minds and spirits. While it's very easy to conform to the standards of the world, God's word should have authority in our lives. God does not give instruction to be cruel, but rather for protection of hurt and disappointment. We have to remember that our bodies don't belong to us, but rather belong to God and we should protect his creation in order to be who he wants us to be. I pray frequently for the future protection of our loved young ones, and for positive influences in their lives who will educate them on getting to know themselves & God before pursuing things or people that will only lead them astray.

Loving the 32 Hour Workweek LIfe!!

2009-03-25T13:38:00.000-07:00

So as some of you may or may not know, I currently only work 32 hours per week. This is ideal to me, however I've found that when I tell certain people this I feel as though there's a stigma that goes along with it....such as, you're not a hard worker or you're lazy if you don't work the "standard 40 hour work-week plus a gillion hours of overtime" Here are some of my reasonings for going against the norm on this one.

Reason 1: In the world of hospital nursing, if I worked any more than this I believe I would go insane. Nursing as I have discovered as with most any job, is extremely stressful. I go to work daily worrying whether because of the economy I'm somehow going to be expected to handle 6 or 7 patients instead of the 5 that on some days are already too many to handle, or if my patients are going to be alive at the end of my shift, because 1 little mistake could turn something from bad to ugly, or if I'm going to get talked to for something that another nurse didn't take care of, or I didn't chart on one of the 6 flowsheets that seem to take away hours of valuable time you could be spending with your patients. Don't get me wrong, I love nursing, but in this day in age I feel as though nursing has taken a turn in the wrong direction, and having an extra day a week away from that stress seems heavenly.

Reason 2: Even though nursing may have been my calling, it is not my life, nor do I ever want it to be. There is so much more to my life than my job, and it's not as though I spend that whole extra day off from work lounging on the couch eating potato chips. I find that there is much more time to be able to commit to spending with my niece which I would never give up, or tutoring at People Serving People ( a Homeless Shelter in downtown Minneapolis), mentoring a 4th grader through Big Brother big Sister, having time to be in a bible study, i've recently taken up violin lessons which I lOVE, having more time to develop friendships, having a little extra time to spend at a coffee shop and ponder life, or simply go home for a couple days to enjoy the parents. I'd much rather be in tune to the world around me than the bubble of my job. I especially feel this way after living in the Ugandan culture for a period of time, and seeing how they value relationships much more than financial gain and career goals. They sure don't have a lot of money or material things, but for the most part they are happy people.

Granted nurses tend to make a little more money than some jobs and I currently have no children to support, but either way I would be willing to give up that extra amount of money & adjust how I make purchases, and stop buying "things" that just end up in the dumpster one day anyway, just to have more sanity in life. I also realize this isn't possible for everyone as there is a tough economy out there, but if it is possible for you, I highly recommend it!

Intro to Blogging....

2009-03-25T13:11:00.000-07:00

Since most of my friends/family have now joined the world of blogging, I've decided to join the train and start a blog of my own. I thought it'd be a good way of keeping those friends and family who I don't get to share my life with every day in touch with what I'm up to in the big city. I however hope that this doesn't turn into a "what i've been up to" kind of blog, but more of a "what's been on my mind" kind of blog...inspired by a good friend Jessica and a lot of blogs of people i've met from my trip to Africa. Looking forward to it....feel free to comment anytime:)